Tricks to Liven up a Meeting

1. Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table.
2. During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm.
3. Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the ''real'' reason this meeting has been called.
4. Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone. Sometimes shake your head just a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly crazy and everybody knows it.
5. Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the (male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave the room.
6. Bring a small mountain of computer printouts to the meeting. If possible, include some old-fashioned fanfold paper for dramatic effect. Every time the speaker makes a point, pretend to check it in one of the printouts. Pretend to find substantiating evidence there. Nod vigorously, and say "uh-huh, uh-huh!"
7. Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points.
8. When there is a call for questions, lean back in your chair, prop your feet up on the table, smile contentedly, and say, "Well, here''s the way I see it, J.B..." (or any other impressive-sounding initials that are not actually your boss''s.)
9. Complain loudly that your neighbour won''t stop touching you. Demand that the boss make him/her stop doing it.
10. Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming.